I'm not sure how to feel about all this. I was living with my fiance in his mom's house for awhile (we are both in college and cant afford a place just yet). Lately, his mom has kinda...well, to put it clearly she has gone a bit nuts. And because of this, my fiance have been looking for jobs harder than ever so we could save up. I mentioned what was happening to my mom, and luckily she was supportive, and said that him and I are welcome at anytime. The other day, his mom told BOTH of us that we get to pay rent (as well as take care of the house and all that so she could live there for free and not lift a finger) well the outrageous part was she wanted $525 from EACH of us....when rent and utilities are no more than like $600 a month....I waved it away though...until today...my fiance left for school this morning. I was sitting there working on my computer, when his mom called me out and said "I want you gone and out of the house...pack your things and be gone before he gets home" She thought she was going to be sneaky about it, but in doing so I think she lost all respect...I went down to the school to talk to my fiance. I wasnt worried at the time, because him and I had been expecting this...except apparently he changed his mind and our plans, and didnt bother telling me...that he wasnt going to move out, he was going to stay with his mom. I was crushed...I felt so abandoned! Here I was having to pack up and leave, and my partner in crime wouldnt be with me...on top of that I would be starting a new job, new classes, new everything...I was super scared...but he still didnt come with me...I understand why now that we talked...he explained to me that he had had enough. He was angry at his mom for doing this, so in turn, he NEVER wanted me to have to feel that heartache again....he wanted me to give him 90 days to try to find a job, save some money to put towards us getting our own place. I appreciate him for taking on such a difficult task...my concern is that with him still living with his mom, that she will talk him out of leaving, or talk him out of getting a job...she hasnt wanted him to work....i think because it keeps him reliant on her...i dunno what do you think?
I'm not sure what to do. My fiance and I are making plans for our future. We are saving up all our change in a jar, going to college, and trying to get jobs for ourselves...however, here is the problem. My fiance is very close to his mother. His mother doesn't want him to get a job. His mom wants him to go to school and only to school so he can stay living at home with her. This annoys me that she seems to think that's ok, especially when him and I want to make a future for ourselves. I explained to my fiance, and he understands this, that while focusing on school is very important, he should have job (even part time) on the side because: a] once he graduates, he will have a harder time finding a job because he has no references, and no actual experience. b] him and i need to save for a wedding and our own place to live. c] we have expenses to pay and so far I'm the only one who has been paying towards them. I'm annoyed because his mother can't seem to (or doesn't want to understand). We are adults, yet she treats him like a little kid...she always wants to baby him, except for when he spends TOO much time with me...then she throws a tantrum about him spending time with HIS FIANCE....she is having control and letting go issues....I understand that....but at the same time, it's time for us to have our own lives, she already had her experiences at our age...I think another problem though is, well, she is pretty much a burn out...she didn't go to college...she doesn't have a job, and she seems to think that we should make a living by selling weed for her....my fiance and I DONT want that kind of life....I'm afraid his mom will convince him to take another path that wont be beneficial...any suggestions...? (oh and fyi, she really doesnt give a rats ass about what i think...)
Im super frustrated. See this started Feb 1st, on Wednesday. Ive been trying to spend time with my boyfriend for days (we live together) but things keep coming up in HIS life to where he keeps breaking his promises to me....for example, Wednesday he came home from college and was upset from having a bad day. Well I decided to try to brighten up his day by running out and getting his favorite foods, and renting one of his favorite movie/tv shows. Only, when I get back his friend shows up, and they leave together. Food untouched. It really hurt my feelings, but I figured it was no big deal....until over the next 5 days things like that kept happening. Im trying to be understanding...however, it seems as though if you loved someone enough, you would make more of an effort to not break promises...am I right? He kept promising that we would push our plans to the next day, to make up for him ditching me...but everyday since wednesday he has ditched me...even now, i had to go to bed by myself...3rd time this week...which sucks because the only reason ive been heading to bed so freaking early is because he needs to get up early in the morning for classes...(this is me trying to be supportive of him and his choices to go back to school). Advice please? Am I doing something wrong? Ive only just tried being helpful and it seems to keep backfiring in my direction. And lets just say it doesnt feel very good. My feelings are hurt to the point where Im starting to just feel really unsympathetic towards him...I dont want it to be that way though...suggestions?
So I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. I need some advice. See, I moved in with my boyfriend back in September. The house belongs to his mother, but she was to be leaving for work (she drives truck) and be gone for most of the month. Well, things were fine for about a month....but she decided she wasnt going back on the road anymore.So now it was me, him, and his mother. Still not horrible, until her ex husband moved in, and his uncle. So now there are 5. The noise level is awful, they smoke in the house, are up at all hours of the night (not good since we are college kids). And his mother is constantly bitchy at me for random crap ( stuff like, why the f#$% did you leave your laundry in the dryer an extra 10 minutes?!) Anyways, Ive been looking for a job so I can afford my own place. My boyfriend is supposed to be helping me...however, he has NEVER had a job before...and he seems to think he can just jump into a well paid job. I keep trying to explain to him to take another job for a few months, if anything just for experience. But he doesnt get it. I feel like Im having to do this on my own. Its bad to the point where I think I may just have to move out....but I dont want to do that, because my boyfriend and I are trying to start a life for ourselves...But things just seem to get worse and worse....and he cant understand the awkward position Im in! He is fine just chilling here because this is his home...he's lived her for most his life...however, I feel like an outsider, and whenever things go wrong in the house, it seems to fall onto my shoulders...and Im sick of it! For example, his mom received an electric bill for $542....she gathered us all up last night, and told us: I get to use whatever power i want cuz its my house...but you guys, on the other hand, dont get to do laundry here anymore, dont get to shower here anymore, dont get to use more than 1 dish, and dont get to use heat (which is bad because we live in an old home up north where the average temp in winter is about 35 degrees).....nazi much!? however, this morning I decided to look closer at this bill...and low and behold! SHE missed a billing month...as in, she forgot to pay one or more of her bills....and that is why the bill is so high! she seems to think that the bill should be closer to $100...but the thing is that there are now 5 people (sometimes more) in this house...i dont know if thats even possible....I cant really say much to her, cuz everytime I try she just threatens to throw me out of "her house." Im going crazy here!!!! There is constantly drinking, weed, loud music, partying....I know, most would probably say...WHOOPEE!!! but Im not into that stuff, and my boyfriend and I just wanna do good in school...please, what should I do?!
So, I'm really annoyed. I'm sure you are all aware of the SOPA/ PIPA situation going on? Well, one of my friends on Facebook kept obsessively posting on the subject, posting tons of different petitions, websites, and changing profile pictures. I jumped on Facebook after an hour and had 23 notifications from her...well, I posted a status on Facebook asking people to quit sending me the petitions and what not. I explained that I already sign a couple petitions and I didn't feel the need to change my picture and respond to EVERY petition. Well that friend of mine got very upset with me, and she started saying hurtful things, like I'm just going to let the government push me around, that all I do is sit on my ass, that I wont have any liberties since I'm not doing this, that I'm a follower and a sheep, and that I'm not really American. Well, ok, I found this to be a bit over-dramatic, and she described it as "the government holding a gun to her head to prevent her from using the internet" and she wasn't just going to sit by and let them mistreat her...well, that's fine and I, and I completely believe in standing up for your rights and whatnot, however, I feel like I have every right to ask her to quit bogging down my Facebook with notification after notification. I do not have to change my Facebook profile picture in order to be heard, and further more, I flat out said Im NOT supporting the bill...I dont why she felt the need to take her anger out on me...its not like Im trying to have it passed. I feel bad though,because the last thing I wanted was for a fight to break out. But after an hour of her arguing with me, she went on to further tear at me by posting an insulting status. Then she deleted me and blocked me from Facebook....I dont understand why it got so out of control. Im on the same side as her, but I guess she got mad because I wasnt acting the way she wanted me to? I dont know, what do you think?
I'm not sure what to do. My fiance and I are BOTH in need to jobs. Him and I are stuck living with his mom for now and Im going crazy! We love each other very much and are trying to stick through it...but things just havent been going right! He was supposed to leave for the Army in August, but there was a mess up with papers and such, and now he has no work. I also lost my job back in July. The business I worked for closed. Him and I cant so much as save for our wedding or pay rent right now. On top of that we are trying to go to college and get degrees. Im grateful that him and I have a home, but his mom and I dont exactly get along(actually I think she just doesnt like me much...its almost impossible for me to NOT piss her off one way or another), and Im afraid that I might get thrown out. My fiance is also fed up, but there is nothing either of us can do. No jobs, no money, and we live in one of the most unemployed cities in the country. We are just trying to make it in life, and trying to get somewhere. We arent even asking for much. Heck we are just trying to afford a mobile home till we find more permanent careers. Any advice? Anyone else in a similar situation. Him and I are young but have been together for 5 years now, so we arent just doing all this willy nilly. Help?
